PODCAST SHOWNOTES

Nicole Otchy: Welcome to the Six Figure Personal Stylist Podcast, the ultimate no-BS business podcast for ambitious personal stylists ready to build a six-figure and beyond personal styling business.

You won't hear the typical snoozefest business advice that most personal stylists get told all of the time. Nope. Instead, I'll be sharing business-building strategies that will help you create a killer personal brand, a cult following of loyal personal styling clients, and make a ton of cash while creating lasting style transformations for your clients.

I'm Nicole Otchy, your host and a former personal stylist of 14 years who built a lucrative styling business in three major cities, but only after spending years trying to crack the six-figure styling business code without burning out. And now I'm here to tell you how to do exactly the same. Let's get into it.

Today, I'm sitting down with someone whose story I have watched unfold from the very beginning. Asma Parvez started as one of the original modest fashion bloggers before most of the industry even existed. She went from anonymous blog posts to styling magazine covers in Austin, working with founders like Allison Ellsworth of Poppi, and becoming the go-to stylist for women stepping into serious visibility.

Her perspective as a Muslim woman, a former blogger, a mother, and a founder herself makes her work both strategic and deeply grounded. I think you will find this conversation incredibly moving. You're going to hear what it really looks like to build a powerful styling business on your own terms. Enjoy.

Nicole Otchy: Welcome to the show, Asma. I'm so happy you are here.

Asma Parvez: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I've been waiting for this for so long.

Nicole Otchy: I have too. It's finally here. All right, let's give the people what they want and start with how you got started as a stylist.

Asma Parvez: This is a long journey. I started off as a fashion blogger back in the olden days when that was a thing. About 16 years ago, I started a blog called The Haute Muslimah. It was a modest fashion runway trends. This is a little bit about kids. I started it when my son was born and I was like, "I need to do something creative." It evolved into this really big thing. I ended up getting sponsors, working with brands. It was a huge thing.

Nicole Otchy: Did you mean for it to get that big or did it just happen?

Asma Parvez: I knew it was going to be big and I was okay with it. I was riding the flow and seeing what happened. I stayed anonymous throughout. So no one knew who I was. I never showed my face. It was a thing.

Nicole Otchy: Did you show outfits, but not your face?

Asma Parvez: Correct. Yup.

Nicole Otchy: Huh. And you got sponsors?

Asma Parvez: Yeah, I got sponsors. My first sponsor was a hijab brand that is based out of Chicago. It's called Haute Hijab. They're amazing. They were my first sponsor. It was $30 for a month. It was a still ad on the blog. Yeah, it was amazing. I was so excited. It evolved from there. It got bigger. I started working with a magazine in the olden days. It was called Lucky Magazine.

Nicole Otchy: Stop. You worked with Lucky Magazine?

Asma Parvez: Yes. It was when bloggers were first popping up and it was a brand new thing. I was on their Lucky Blogger List. I was invited to all their events. I was always in New York. I went to Fashion Week. It was a really good time.

Nicole Otchy: Wow. I had no idea. And at this point, no face. Nobody really knew who you are. When did you start styling people one to one?

Asma Parvez: My daughter was born. When she was born, she was born with special needs. She was born deaf. The way that she processes information is a little bit different. So we had to figure out how to do this with her. We had to figure out what we needed, how I was going to parent and work at the same time.

I couldn't do it, so I quit. I stopped blogging altogether. That was a time when influencers started coming up. It was a really big thing. This was 13 years ago. I was like, "This is a good time for me to step back anyway. I don't want to compete. I don't like this idea of competition. I am just going to disappear anyway. So let me just step back a place where I'm in a good place. I'm in a high."

So I stepped back and focused on my daughter and my son that I had as well. So my husband and I focused on that and just went all in, figuring everything out, all of her needs.

Nicole Otchy: During the time when your daughter was little and you guys were focusing on her care, what were you doing with style as an outlet? Were you styling friends? Were you getting deeper into style? Tell me about how it looked in your life then.

Asma Parvez: I didn't really have an outlet at that point. I hadn't started my business. It wasn't even on the horizon. I had this little scrapbook that I had created that was called Styled by Asma. I made it when she was young. So that's what I would do. I would think about what I wanted to do in the future and this dream that I had of styling a business. I finally did it during COVID. It's when I actually started the business.

Nicole Otchy: That's when you emailed me after listening to my podcast and that's how we got connected. I was on maternity leave. So tell me about what was happening when you reached out to me.

Asma Parvez: I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. I decided I wanted to be a stylist. So I started my business. It was the beginnings of it. I was researching style coaches and mentors and whatnot. Actually, I think it was Laurel, Laurel Kinney, who I had reached out about mentoring. So we did one session. She also mentioned you.

I started listening to your podcast. I would write down everything you'd say. I'd end up writing down your entire podcast. It was ridiculous. I was like, "Everything she's saying is pure gold." Everything you said was pearls of wisdom dropping from your mouth. I was like, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This is incredible. I can't believe this is free. This is insane."

Nicole Otchy: That was my styling podcast. That was when I was talking to clients, like I was a stylist.

Asma Parvez: Yes. You were not even talking to other stylists. You were just talking to the clients. It was just incredible. I learned so much from that. I reached out to you before you even started your styling consultancy, I believe. I was like, "Would you consider mentoring me?" And you said, yeah. It literally changed my life.

Nicole Otchy: I was always working with Erin, but I think you were the first new client that I had not had any other experience with your other programs. I had just had my daughter. I remember getting the email. Oddly, I was getting out of the shower. I was putting on pajamas and I saw the email. It felt like a sign because I wasn't sure about starting a styling consultancy.

I was like, "Okay, Erin was telling me to do it." Then your email came through. I really think of you and Erin as being the people that helped me launch this business in so many ways.

Asma Parvez: I love that. I love being any part of your journey at all. It's an honor. You working with me opened up so much. It made me think about my business in a whole different way. What I really wanted to do, what was very important to me throughout the entire process of me starting my business, was that I wanted to do it well.

I wanted to do it professionally from day one. Because I have such severe ADD, I needed to have some structure. I wanted to make sure that my business had structure. Because if I was piecing it together, then I would be disorganized. Therefore, everything would be disorganized.

Nicole Otchy: You really took it seriously from the beginning. It was really cool. But I did not realize, honestly, that you had not been doing this on and off since the blog. I thought that was always in the background. I thought you had the business. So I didn't realize at all. Well, you started in 2020.

Asma Parvez: I think it was 2021.

Nicole Otchy: This business has grown. Well, wow, that's a lot that happened in not very much time now that I know that. Okay, so we get you up and running. What were the sorts of folks that you were styling right away? Was it anyone? You came out the gate a little bit, I think, with a niche, no?

Asma Parvez: So my niche was Muslim women. I feel like the world is very patriarchal anyway. It's very man-centered and I really want to help women. Even now, people are like, "Do you style men?" And I'm like, "Honestly, I could, but I don't want to. That's not where I want to put any of my energy."

So I really wanted Muslim women to be able to express themselves. But there was one woman in particular who had reached out to me, which started the catalyst for me starting my business. She reached out to me. She found me on LinkedIn. I think she might have known or heard about me as a blogger and asked me to help her figure out how to dress for her new job.

I started styling her. A few women—it was all working women. They just wanted to get back into the workplace, or if they were in the workplace and they wanted to uplevel their wardrobe, or they had gotten a promotion and whatnot. So that's how I started it all.

Nicole Otchy: What was the biggest win in the beginning? What was the biggest high that you experienced? And what do you think the hardest part was, going professional, really doing it for real and charging people money?

Asma Parvez: I would say the biggest high was when someone actually paid me. I actually charged a number that I was a little bit nervous about. I started off really, really low. When Laurel mentored me, she was like, "If you price your services that low, you're basically going to be embarrassing stylists. You can't do that. If I price myself low, I bring the whole industry down."

Nicole Otchy: Wow, I've never even used that line. Girl, that's something.

Asma Parvez: I mean, she was really nice. I'm just really blunt. I'm obsessed with Laurel. I love her. She's incredible.

Nicole Otchy: She's amazing.

Asma Parvez: But the way that she had to be blunt because I was like, "I can't do it. I can't do it." I was really adamant. I'm not going to charge too much. I don't want to. I want to make this accessible for everybody.

I pushed it so hard. I think she really had to just be like, "Hey, you can't do that. You really can't do that. You need to price yourself well accordingly and not underprice yourself just to be more palatable."

Nicole Otchy: The first time somebody paid you—I'm really proud of Laurel for giving you that little bit of talk. I think all of us go into this a little bit naive. We just want to help people.

Asma Parvez: Absolutely. I feel like most stylists—I don't really know now. But when I was starting out and everyone I spoke to, no one started off as a stylist like, "Oh my god, I'm going to make bank. I want to be a stylist because I'm going to be a millionaire. That's why I want to be a stylist." That's not even a thing. Maybe now it is.

But back then, it was very much like "I wanted to help people. I want them to feel their power. I want to help them get there."

Nicole Otchy: Right. There's often very little thought about how the stylist themselves is going to be in their own power.

Asma Parvez: None. I had no thoughts about myself and anything like that. It wasn't even a thing until I started working with you.

You opened up my eyes and it was like, "Okay, I am my business. I am a whole person. I am the CEO of my company. I need to learn how to work on my business and treat it like an actual business, not a hobby." I feel like it feels hobby-ish almost.

Also, when you go out in the world and tell people that you're a stylist, they're like, "Hair stylist or whatever?" They don't know what it is anyway. When no one knows what you do, they don't really understand what you do. They're like, "Oh, cute. That's so cute, right? Your business, that's awesome. I love that for you," which is interesting.

Nicole Otchy: You dress people. You play dress up.

Asma Parvez: Yeah, exactlt. So to think of myself as a business, it really helped empower me and that empowerment obviously empowers my clients.

Nicole Otchy: People that are about to really step into their next level themselves want that modeled for them in the people that are guiding them.

We just don't think about it. It's not that anyone's doing anything wrong in the industry. They just don't think about that. It's not a legitimized yet profession. I think these are all of the side effects of it being not as legitimate as, say, architects or interior designers.

You've had so many wins, so many public-facing clients. For a little while, and maybe still, and I'm not sure about this, but I know you've done a lot of photo shoots in Austin. Tell me a little bit about how you got that gig.

Asma Parvez: It was another stylist who was working in a magazine. I would shadow her. Well, she hired me as an assistant. She was ready to move on. I was the perfect replacement. It was organic in that way.

But I did reach out. I am a reach-er-outer. I'd rather reach out. People say, "Oh, no, that's not going to work," or, "Oh, turn me down," than not reach out at all. That's a huge change from how I first started the business. I've never been timid as a human being or a person. But when I started the business, it was a new thing for me.

So I wasn't as confident, personally, in reaching out to people and knowing that people were going to hire me. It was always like, "Oh my god, surprise, they hired me. This is incredible." Now it's like, I'm turning down clients because I have to make sure that my clients and I are aligned and that I can help them. I can't help everybody.

It's like when I talk to you about working with you in a certain container, and you're like, "You could pay me all this money. We could do this, but what you really need is this." So it's the same thing. When someone reaches out to me, "Oh, I want to do this," or, "I need this." I'm like, "I can absolutely help you do this part, but you're not there yet. Or you need to do this. I know that I won't be able to help you in the way that you need help." So I turn them down. I direct them to different resources or different places instead.

Nicole Otchy: That is such a powerful thing that you shared because so many people are afraid to do that and think that it means, for some reason, they're not being an expert. But I say no. Especially in my established clients, a lot of times there's a knee-jerk reaction to hire an expert or someone that you care about or trust because you want that validation.

But if you want people to really become confident, like you do, if you want to be a stand for your clients, they have to meet you. There's a point where they have to meet you halfway. So the fact that you're willing to do that is so, so powerful. I'm so glad you shared that.

Your niche is Muslim women, and you do work with a lot of them. But you very much work with lots of powerful women who are not Muslim. Did it surprise you that non-Muslim women wanted to work with you? Did you think that the fact that you are clearly a Muslim woman that wears a hijab would mean that that would limit the clients you got?

Asma Parvez: A hundred percent. My biggest fear was that people would look at me and be like, "Oh, she chooses to dress modestly," or, "She chooses to wear a hijab. She's not going to know how to style me as a regular schmaggular person." Granted, I am a regular schmaggular person. So that's what I was worried about.

By styling women for magazine covers here in Austin, that changed the way that people perceived me. Because they were like, "Oh, she can style this person. She can style that person." They're on the cover of this magazine in Austin. I styled covers for almost two years. There were so many different women, and sometimes they would hire me after that as well.

That's actually how I got started with Allison, was from that magazine cover. I was worried in the beginning about that. I used to be worried even up until a year and a half ago. It still made me nervous about like, "Oh, is someone going to be like, she doesn't know what she's doing?" Not anymore. I have zero nerves about someone hiring me as a Muslim. I can do literally anything. I can style anybody. This is something that I know I can do and I am fully confident in my ability to do so.

Nicole Otchy: But you also have killer style. Yes, you wear a hijab, but I could see your clothes. It's not like you're completely hidden. So that's interesting that you had that fear. I knew that you had some fears, because we've talked about it over the years, around attracting women that were not Muslim.

I also really did feel like your values and what you really wanted to do was champion Muslim women. I think that there's nobody better to do that. But you have such great personal style as it is. No one should be hiring us for that, but it's a pretty good indication that you know what you're talking about.

Asma Parvez: I think it definitely helped, but I don't know what the norm is, but I wear the same clothes over and over and over again. I am not a big buyer of new pieces. I never get sucked into trends. I'm not sure why, but it's really easy for me to not be influenced by everything and everyone around me.

I'm very confident in how I want to be and how I want to dress in my values. Although I don't speak about this openly with clients or even in my marketing and branding, I love the idea of sustainability and being able to re-wear the clothes that we have.

This is why the closet edit is actually a really big part of my journey and my packages for my clients. I know a lot of stylists don't love doing closet edits, but I really love doing them because I can find those pieces in their closet that we can reuse and continue to re-wear.

To be honest, if I never look in someone's closet and I get to start their wardrobe from scratch, that would be so much easier. But I love the idea of wearing things that we already own. Why invest in a new X if I already have that X or seven versions of that X at home? So mixing and matching, buying new things when we need is something that I love to do.

Nicole Otchy: You are very, very solid as a person. That's a weird compliment to give someone, but as someone who knows you really well, I think at this point it doesn't surprise me at all that you have such a clear sense of style and that you're at a point now where you're so much more confident and you understand how the business runs.

So of course, you're turning people away because you trust yourself. You trust yourself as a person. I think that comes across very, very much. The more you become visible, the more you are showing up, that energy just radiates from you. It's very obvious.

So I think the fact that you've always been so secure in yourself makes a lot of sense that you've attracted these higher-level public figures. One of them is Allison Ellsworth, who you've very publicly styled throughout her time at Poppi. She recently sold that company. Tell us a little bit about that experience.

Asma Parvez: Working with her has been one of the coolest experiences that I've had. So it started off working with her through the magazine because the magazine put her on the cover. I was her stylist through that. No matter who someone is, where they are in their journeys, I always want to help them.

So I just asked, "Hey, do you have anything else you need styling for? Can I help you out with anything else?" She was like, "Actually, I have these three events coming up. I have no idea what to wear." She had just had her baby relatively recently.

She asked me for outfits for three different events. So what I did was when I was shopping for her cover looks—and for that magazine, it's five to six outfits for the magazine shoot. So one for the cover, and then four or five for the article inside. While I was shopping for it, I also was shopping for these other events.

One of them was in New York. They were launching a Poppi lip gloss collab. That's how I got started with her.

Nicole Otchy: You really did a lot of strategy with her. It wasn't just, "Yes, here's an outfit for this." You truly do personal brand styling, which I think not everybody gets. It's that conversation around you as the brand business owner within the business, but also you outside of it. Where is the overlap? And then where is there a place where the founder doesn't want the overlap for those [inaudible] selves is something you always got instinctually that I was always very impressed by and don't see a lot in the personal styling space for people that work with founders. It's really important. So I'm not really surprised that she stayed with you for so long because you're amazing.

Asma Parvez: It wasn't even a conversation about necessarily staying on brand. It was something that I instinctively knew had to happen. You're right. I think that's why we worked together for so long is because I got it.

A lot of the images that the Fortune 500 or Ink Magazine uses is a lot of the—some of them are the ones that I styled her in. So it's really cool to see my work. It's literally all over the world right now. So I think that's really neat.

Allison as a human being is an amazing person. She has three boys. She's so real. I think that's why we really clicked and we got to work together for so long. I also styled her husband Stephen. I don't style men, but in this case, it was for a wedding, an Indian wedding in Morocco. Their Shark Tank investor, Rohan Oza, was getting married. I styled them for those events. That was such a cool experience.

Nicole Otchy: That was a lot of work. I remember that. What if you could say, what percentage of women that you work with are Muslim versus not Muslim?

Asma Parvez: At this point, I would say half. Half are Muslim, half are not Muslim. You're right, I did start this off. That was going to be my niche, Muslim women. But everyone keeps hiring me. Everyone keeps reaching out to me. These are people and brands and humans that I align with on so many levels.

I'm like, "Absolutely, I can see us working together. I feel it. This is going to be good." That's what's happening. So now I'm styling mostly women founders and women who are starting their businesses or reaching out or looking for funding for their businesses and whatnot. Then also just women who are going to work, but have a new body or have a promotion, aren't sure how to dress for it, and so on. So I do all of that, but it's all women.

Nicole Otchy: When you work with non-Muslim women, what do you think they are most surprised by? What kinds of conversations do you have with them that are mutual points of education because of your differences of faith and the way that you present?

Asma Parvez: I think now a lot of women that I work with, when they hire me, they can see that I'm visibly Muslim and they know that. So they already have some sense of awareness of what that might look like or feel like. They obviously trust me because they're hiring me and they've seen my work and they know that I can do the work.

I would say that years ago, it would be like, "Oh my gosh, surprise, you speak English really well," kind of thing, right? Yeah, literally someone said that to me last week. I wasn't offended. I don't get offended. If you're coming from a rude place, I'm going to be like, "Oh, you're annoying." I'm not offended by these questions, especially when they come from people who are actually just wanting to learn more. They might not know how to phrase the question.

It might come off as weird to someone else, but I'm good. I'm solid. We can talk. I'm chill. So there was this person who kept saying, "But you speak really good English." And I was like, "Yeah, I was born and raised here." I was like, "You speak really good English." And I was like, "My mom's actually white American. She was born in Florida. Her birth name is Bobby Joe." And my dad is from Pakistan, so this is already on the topic.

So I grew up mixed already. Both of my parents are Muslim, but I have family members who are not. And I was raised here in an environment in the US in an environment of a lot of acceptance. My mom coming from not being Muslim and then being Muslim, everything she taught me was acceptance, love, kindness, respect. You give that to everybody, but also this is what we expect back.

I have always expected kindness and respect back. When I don't get it, I'm like, "Whoa, hold on. Slow down." So a while ago people might have been surprised by the English, but now everyone gets it. Now the questions or what people don't know about me is why I choose to cover, for example.

I think they're a little bit cautious. Sometimes they think that a man, my father or my husband has made me cover. They are so nice because they don't want to be like, "Oh, a man made you cover and that's okay. We're okay with that." I'm like, "No, we're not okay with that. Nobody can tell me what to do."

That's how my mom is. She became Muslim, she covered her hair, and she is very much like nobody can tell her what to do. So that's how I was raised. I do what I want to do. I do it because it's part of my faith and this is what I believe. Some Muslim women choose to cover, some don't. It's their decision. That's the end of it.

Nicole Otchy: It's really been amazing over the years to hear about some of the conversations you've had. You live in Austin, Texas, which is a pretty liberal place and certainly has all sorts of folks. But you've had some interesting conversations over the years, and you've taught me a ton about the Muslim religion.

It's been really amazing to go from watching you feel like you would almost be pigeonholed because of your faith, to watching how actually it has been, by putting yourself out there and by being on social media more, it has opened up the amount of people that actually want to work with you because you are just you and you happen to be Muslim. And that is not what you have to lead with.

It doesn't mean that it's not part of your values or that you don't care deeply for Muslim women, but it's been amazing to watch you be surprised by people meeting you and wanting you. And yeah, you happen to be Muslim, and the things you have taught them and the things that you bring to these conversations because of that.

If you were talking to another stylist who was just starting and was Muslim and was nervous about being public or being on social media because you're Muslim, what would you tell them?

Asma Parvez: That's becoming a rarity almost due to TikTok culture and social media in general. Muslim women are whoever they want to be and they are not afraid, I feel like, or nervous the same way that we used to be. There's more representation now.

However, if there was a Muslim woman who was a stylist, who wanted to get started, who was a little bit nervous about showcasing that faith, I would say that to this day sometimes I feel like, am I too Muslim? Are people going to understand me and see me for who I am? And it is what it is. I am Muslim.

And also, not to get super deep into religion, but there's the Bible, there's the Quran, there's the Torah. But about the Quran in particular, there's a verse in there that Muslim people recite multiple times a day. In it, it says, "To you, your religion and to me, mine." And it's so incredible because, sure, we are Muslim, but also you do you. It's literally there. It's not for everybody. Everybody has their own thing.

So I think that's so empowering as a Muslim too because what I want to do is I want to open people's eyes to what it is, who Muslims are, what our values are. Above all, it's that we're the same. Me and you, Nicole, are the same, right? You have a kid, you want to make sure they eat their breakfast, they're not sleeping because they're whining, they've got to do their homework, they've got to get into college at some point.

These are all universal things. This isn't a Muslim, non-Muslim thing. So I think that's the most important thing that I want to put out there. Yeah, we pray five times a day. Yes, that's a lot of praying, which just means that we have a lot of conviction.

So when I stand true to who I am in my style, in the way that I speak, and I'm strong in everything that I do, it's also because I'm very full of conviction when it comes to my religion. I'm okay, I'm strong and I'm confident in it. Therefore, I'm confident in almost everything that I do.

Nicole Otchy: It's interesting that you said, it never occurred to me that people would think that you were trying to convert them because I'm not religious, but so many other religions, an important tenet of them is trying to convert people. So there is a lot of projection there, especially if we don't know what we're talking about.

I'm really glad that you brought that up. It makes a lot of sense to me that your faith informs who you are as a stylist, who you are as a woman. Tell me a little bit about what it's been like running your business with a special-needs child and really being so dedicated to her and also being fiercely dedicated to this business.

Asma Parvez: It means that sometimes the business is on the back burner, and that's okay. It means that I'm not full-time and it means that I may not make the amount of money that I want to make, I may not get there, but I'm okay with it because I'm making consistent income and I'm comfortable where I am.

But even if there's times when I don't make anything, that also has to be okay. I sometimes have to focus on my family. I have a son and a daughter. My daughter's doing really, really well. She's doing fantastic, actually. I'm so grateful and I'm so excited and proud of her. She's doing so well.

So things are actually okay right now. Even within that, I struggle with my own issues. I have really bad ADD. I struggled with depression after she was born. So I still navigate my own mental health issues. It's your family, yourself, your business.

I want women to have it all, but I don't know if anybody can have it all, not just women. I don't know if anybody is meant to have every single thing. If you do, that's amazing. I love that for you and I wish that for everybody.

But there are times when I have to step back on my business and I don't take new clients. There was actually a time I got really burnt out. It was last year. I took a break for four months and I didn't take on any new clients. I was still working with the current clients that I had.

I also have established clients that work with me. So if you've already worked with me before, you have access to this established client menu that only you have access to, so you can work with me in a different way than new clients can. So I was working with the clients that I already had, but I wasn't taking on anybody else.

I was slowly petering off and not renewing things with clients. I thought about the idea of working a real job and decided that there's no passion in there. I don't actually want to do it. I was just burnt out and I wanted to make easy money. Getting X amount of money per hour just seems so much easier, even though it'd be so much less than what I make right now.

Nicole Otchy: So much less.

Asma Parvez: But it'd be easier because there's not a lot of commitment or mental energy.

Nicole Otchy: Well, just the mental energy of not knowing where a lot of your next income is coming from is a lot. But one of the things that I think is important to note about you saying sometimes you have to step back and you don't take new clients is someone who's navigated all of that with you over the years.

I think that the important part of it was that you're able to do that and not completely lose the business because you started by taking it professionally and seriously. So you have the strategy that allows you to keep people in your world and working. So you're not completely styling people or not styling people.

You have established clients. So taking new clients is not the same thing as not having any clients. That's something you've been able to do, which already, even if to you it's not full time, puts you in a category of stylist, as someone who sees hundreds of them, that is working more than the average stylist. Even when you're stepping back to deal with your mental health or to deal with your kid stuff or family stuff.

So that is why taking your little hobby business seriously actually helps everybody in your life largely.

Asma Parvez: Absolutely. I also know that this business has been so good for my mental health, my physical health, my family life because I am doing something that I feel called to, that I'm passionate about, and I'm actually doing it. I'm not thinking about it. I'm not dreaming about it. I'm not scrapbooking about it. I'm actually doing it.

That is so amazing. I'm so grateful that I'm able to do that. It really gives me confidence and it gives me power. It's something where I wake up in the morning, I'm like, "Oh, I know what I'm doing today. I know what I have to do today. I know what I'm going to do and I know what I get to do today."

Nicole Otchy: It's so powerful because so many women come to the conversation with me of, "Well, I want to do this and I want to do it well, but I also can't. I'm also not going to just not be a good mom." As if it's an either or when it's really just an ongoing dance. We often keep ourselves super small by thinking it's an either-or when it's yes-and, it's both.

Asma Parvez: I think that's so important because you think that you can be a mom or you can work or you can do it all, but things have to give and it's constant. So I feel like some people might say, "Oh my gosh, Asma, she's made it. She's styling these big people, she's doing great," but every day it's still, I'm going to work and I'm working.

I haven't made it. I don't think I'll ever make it. Speaking from my experience now, me, Asma, four years ago would have been like, "Oh my God, she made it." If I knew what I was doing now. Now that I'm here, I'm like, that's not how it is. Nobody makes it. You continue constantly.

You're honest, you're always working, and you're always moving on to the next thing and it doesn't stop. It doesn't end. So it's a constant cycle of give and take and balance and structure. Raising your kids, there are seasons where you'd be raising your kids more than you'd be working.

There's sometimes you're working more and your kids are thriving in school and they don't really need you as much and that's amazing too. But it's always a give and take and it's always a balance. You haven't just made it and you're done. You can't just always ride that wave.

Nicole Otchy: Yeah, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Someone else besides me is going to say that to everyone because it is so easy to think when you make this amount of money, when you get this type of client, all of a sudden.

But I also think the point of this too is you changed as a person, as you should be, as we all should be, as you had those successes. Every time you do hit a goal, when you look back at where you are now, it changes you. The work changes you and that's what changes your perception.

You can never see the change in yourself when you're looking at the milestone. You only see the external thing. You don't see the internal shift that happens. And with you, that has been massive to watch. Just massive. It has been a privilege to watch.

So now that you had that period of burnout, which is so common, I see it so often with clients, you came back on the scene, not like you went away. But I noticed, as someone who knows you well, that it seems like in the past four to six months, your visibility and your comfort with visibility has skyrocketed. Tell me a little bit about what happened and what shifted for you.

Asma Parvez: I think that time that I had taken off to focus on myself and my own needs and my family's needs, I almost came back stronger. I did come back stronger because I reiterated what I really wanted. This is exactly what I want to do and I'm going to do it.

So I needed a break to think about it, ponder life, come back stronger than ever. I feel like I am on the right track. I know that I'm on the right track. Because I know that I'm on the right track, I'm ready to step into my own visibility.

This is something that I do for my clients all the time. I help them step into their visibility and now here I am stepping into my own. What helped me was hiring a social media manager. She is absolutely incredible and she does push me to do the things that I don't want to do.

So getting on camera more, speaking more on camera, just being on camera in general. I'm not the biggest fan. I don't love it. I never loved it, but I do it. I'm a lot more comfortable now because I feel that by getting on camera and talking and showing myself, I'm helping someone else.

So when I come out of myself and it's less, "I feel uncomfortable, I look a certain way or I feel a certain way today," and I put myself back there and I'm like, "I'm not on here for me. I'm on here for all of us." So if I'm helping someone and I think about me being on camera and helping that person over there step into her visibility, then I feel more powerful and more empowered to continue to be on camera.

Nicole Otchy: Yeah, I'm so glad you said that. It is so easy to think that we need to feel inspired in order to do something or excited about it. But the truth is, it's once you do it and you notice, "Oh look, I got on camera and I didn't feel so great about myself today and nobody unfollowed me. Or the world did not explode and I still have clients," you're like, "Wow, that was really not that big of a deal."

Asma Parvez: Yeah, absolutely. I agree. I think putting yourself, there's two ways to do it. One is putting yourself in the back and saying this is for others. The other way is putting yourself forward and saying I'm doing this for me and I know this is right for me. I might not be touching people yet. I may not be affecting others yet, but I'm going to get there. So it's like there's so many ways to think about the same thing and for all those ways to be correct.

Nicole Otchy: Absolutely. It has been so amazing to watch you step into yourself more, to let people hear your voice. Because whether you like it or not, you're actually excellent on camera.

Because we think being excellent on camera means we never make a mistake. That's not what it is. It's because you actually are the kind of person who is, you are who you are no matter where you are.

Asma Parvez: Yes.

Nicole Otchy: So people can feel that and that's what most people are unable to do.

Asma Parvez: Yeah.

Nicole Otchy: It's like you're not masking.

Asma Parvez: No, I am myself no matter what. And sometimes I feel that my personality can be really big and I never want to offend someone or step on their toes. I also joke a lot and I make jokes and I don't want to offend people.

So sometimes I get nervous about being my whole self. Thank God my friends and my people get me because I would have offended them so long ago they would have left.

Nicole Otchy: I don't think—but the thing is the energy with which we do things, people aren't dumb. They can feel it. And you are hilarious. That's something I don't think a lot of people know. Your sense of humor is killer. People have no idea, I think, and that's okay. That can be a friends and family perk, you know?

Asma Parvez: Yeah, you're like a live perk because I've started doing workshops and stepping onto stage and this is something that I always wanted to do. I also really want to start a podcast, but a part of me is afraid and the other part of me wants to get it right. So I'm in the middle right now and I will work on that.

We always need to work on something, right? Just because I'm powerful in the way that I think and the way that I move in my convictions doesn't mean I still don't second guess myself. And I'm still like, "Oh, am I going to—should I do that?" So this is just so normal. And I will work through it.

But becoming more visible, being on stage, having workshops, talking to women, this is really what I want to do. Something interesting that I've found out about what I want to put out into the world is not that I only want to talk about style. It is really about how we perceive ourselves and the self that we want to put out there and style is a conduit.

It's a way to do that. It's not the only way, but it is a very powerful way. I want women to find their power, remember their power. It's always been there. People can take it away, but it's always there.

We women have so much power. We're already empowered. Even if you don't have a stylist and you wear the same t-shirt and jeans every day, that's up to you, but you could still be super empowered. I don't know, you do you, boo. I'm here though, if you need me for that next step.

But we have that power already. I just want to remind women that we have it and we need to get it and we need to bring it out into the world. That's really what I want to do. However that is, if it's through style, mindset, whatever it is.

By going on stage and speaking about it, I speak about all of it and I really love that. My dream is to be a TEDx speaker or something, but to have this really good speech that I can do at different places. That's my next dream, but yeah.

Nicole Otchy: We're going to get there, no question. That podcast, it's coming. So anyone out there that's like, "Oh, I hope she does it," let me just assure you, it's happening. It's just TBD when.

Asma Parvez: Yeah, I appreciate that.

Nicole Otchy: It's happening.

Asma Parvez: I appreciate that.

Nicole Otchy: It's done.

Asma Parvez: I appreciate you for believing in me.

Nicole Otchy: Always.

Asma Parvez: And for empowering me to empower myself, you did not give me power. I had it. You helped me find it within myself. This is what I want to do for others. I'm not here to give you empowerment. I'm not here to give you confidence. That comes from within. I'm here to help you find it, showcase it, practice it.

Nicole Otchy: Practice it.

Asma Parvez: Figure out how you want to show it to the world.

Nicole Otchy: Yeah. It's such an amazing thing when you realize that in order to be transformational, you have to be willing to go through the transformation. For stylists, it's often not the physical transformation that we give, it's the internal one. If I'm honest, when I look at people like you and Erin and the clients that I've worked with who I think of when I think of transformational stylists—there's a rolodex in my head of people. It's not because of how they style. It's not because of how much money they make.

It's not because of how many followers they have or brand deals. It is because of the work that I know they have put in when no one was looking. Because otherwise you cannot be in the room with people who are experiencing the necessary discomfort of change.

Asma Parvez: Yeah, because you haven't experienced it yourself. It's like you have to go through that. It took me my own time in my own way, but I got there myself as well. But it was very hard. It wasn't easy for me to find my sense of purpose and step into it with confidence.

Nicole Otchy: You always had it from our very first call.

Asma Parvez: Fair.

Nicole Otchy: You had it. I see everything that we talked about four or five years ago now. But I also saw all the little things along the way that needed to be handled and grow you as a person to step into this.

We only think of our business as, "Oh, I gotta do this, this and this." But sometimes there are lessons we need in our life, if we have big purpose, that are going to come in other ways to develop us. Because yours is a calling. Without question.

Asma Parvez: Yeah. I feel it.

Nicole Otchy: Yeah. It has been such a long honor. Thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much for hanging out with me. It turns out that social proof is actually pretty important. So if you could help me out, I'd so appreciate it. If you just had a quick free moment and could leave me a rating or review on the podcast app, that would be killer. And even better, if you wanted to share this episode on Instagram and tag me, that would totally make my day and it would bring so much more awareness to the podcast and would help other stylists just like you who are looking to build lucrative styling business because the better each of us does, the better all of us do. Thanks for hanging out with me and I'll chat with you next time.