PODCAST SHOWNOTES

Nicole Otchy: Almost 20 years ago, I launched my personal styling business and I spent months doing everything I thought I was supposed to do, which is fascinating in retrospect, because I had never heard of or met another personal stylist. I watched a lot of “What not to wear” and read books by a few celebrity stylists. And found one in New York City who has since retired who had like a business that I could find in a Google search and that was about as close as I could get. But that didn't stop me. I paid for a website. I hired somebody to design it all from scratch, a logo, everything. I reached out to a contact from when I was doing freelance writing and knew some people in PR, because I used to work in PR.

And I got an article published in Paper Magazine, which if you know, you know, back in the day was kind of a cool thing. I read every book on style I could find. And here's my favorite. I kept ripped out magazine pages and little plastic page protectors in three ring binders. Like they were artifacts that I would surely refer back to again and again, when I was a successful stylist, whatever that means. I genuinely wish I still had those binders. I am so mad that when I moved, I got rid of them. Like I still can think about how I truly felt that those binders were going to be things that I would reach for and just like blow a client's mind with like a tip. Oh, so cute.

But I'm going to give you the end and spoil it. I didn't get a single client from any of those things. What actually got me my first real clients was one conversation with my mother-in-law. And in many ways, my mother-in-law is a person that really championed my career and encouraged me and believed in me, knowing how miserable I was in my corporate jobs. It seemed like there was no way given the experiences I had. I had a master's degree in philosophy and ethics. I had worked for Fidelity. I had done a lot of like corporate kind of jobs. I couldn't imagine that there was a world, where I would ever be a professional. But she believed in me and she was my first client. At the time my only real social media option was Facebook, which meant that there was really like no way friends and family weren't going to see what I was doing.

I did have another job but that didn't really matter at the time and the thought of that, of people in my real life knowing that I had all this education and I was going to go dress people, was genuinely mortifying. And that doesn't even include things people literally said to me, like, or even said to my parents, like, aren't you mad you pay for her to go to grad school and now she's going to dress people. As if there's like this great, you know, thriving marketplace for people with philosophy degrees. Like, are you kidding me? But anyways, the thought of me failing publicly was so terrifying. And it wasn't like I was blowing anybody out of the water or succeeding wildly in my other career, right? It was just like, nobody really in my friend group had their own business. I did grow up with an entrepreneur father. So I do think that had a lot to do with my ability to break through these things.

But I had no experience of anybody else I knew putting themselves out there. And what if I put myself out there and I didn't get any clients and everyone knew, because I was, you know, putting all my business on the internet, right? That's so funny now, because I tell my clients all the time, nobody knows what's going on behind the scenes. So just keep posting like you're busy, you know? And so I kept preparing instead of reaching out. I made this website. I did the research. I was working on that binder I mentioned. I was writing articles and all of it felt productive, but none of it was moving me forward, in a way that would allow me to not have to, you know, be in this miserable full-time job.

But what moved me forward was having a real conversation with my mother-in-law. And she wanted to pay me to work with her. But I said no. She would eventually later on become a real client. But she mentioned what I was doing to her friend group after I added her closet and did some shopping with her and sort of did like a full styling package. And she talked a lot about it to people. And they told other people. And so I ended up working with three of her very close friends, who I did not know at all. And it was so perfect, like I met them here and there, but I didn't know them well, now I know them very well. And I did it in exchange for testimonials. Two of them were business owners. And so that really helped, because they totally got it, they understood, you know, how important that was. One of them wrote something on LinkedIn. And they both had pretty good sized networks, as did my mother-in-law, which wasn't why I worked with my mother-in-law. I love her to death. That just happened to be a side effect.

But they knew exactly the kind of women I would eventually want to be working with, in some ways before even I did. And so when I asked them to spread the word around the Northern Virginia and Washington, D.C. area, they did. And that is how I built my initial client base in that area, in addition to having worked at the Harvard Kennedy School for that full-time job, I mentioned earlier and working with people in politics there. But I did not tell them about this until I already had clients out there. Because I, again, was mortified that I was going to publicly fail, then go to my normal job and then everybody was just going to find this Facebook page and completely ridicule me. That is not what happened. That experience of working with my mother-in-law's friends, who at the time I didn't know, but they were safe enough to feel like they would not, you know, be unkind or, you know, it wouldn't be super weird if it didn't go well. They understood as business owners, like, that you're trying to get your footing, that you're trying to figure it out. And so they gave me this, like, safe space, but they also treated me like an expert. And it was kind of the perfect, far enough away, but close enough to my comfort zone to begin to really start to build this business for real.

And then after I worked with that little tight group of women, who gave me great testimonials, I started to charge hourly and I moved outside of that circle. And I did that for way too long, before I moved to packages, like way too long. I genuinely just didn't know what to do until I got into a program that was a business program for stylists that I've talked about before that I went on to work for. And so I've made basically every mistake I'm going to tell you to avoid, which is exactly why I can tell you what works, because I've done the things that haven't.

And so, unless you start out already very comfortable with social media and self-promotion, which I'll be honest, I have had some clients who were, who are and that's wonderful. If that's you, go on with your bad self. But I talk to more stylists, especially ones that are coming from a corporate background like I was and like, you know, quote, normal jobs, that aren't comfortable and it doesn't feel natural. And even people that I know that have worked in marketing and big PR agencies, here, in New York City that are stylists, tell me that there's not… like being your own product to market is nowhere near the same experience as being, you know, on a big team marketing like, you know, a TV show or soap or something. It's just not the same. It doesn't even feel like the same thing that you're doing, because it's so hard to explain when it's you. And also personal services are very different from the kind of marketing that lots of people do.

And so for most people that I talk to, again, there are absolutely people that get plans right off of social media that are exceptional at it, right? There are those folks. But for the majority of people I talk to and women I talk to, that's not that. And so your first clients are going to come from a real conversation with someone who already knows you, who trusts you, doesn't have to be someone as close as your mother-in-law or, you know, in my case and has a network of people who actually would be a good fit for this service. So in my case, I stumbled into, to be totally transparent here, I stumbled into a network. It didn't even occur to me. I was not even savvy enough to know Oh, my mother-in-law makes sense, because she's, you know, she has a really big community. She goes to a really big church. She's a leader in her community. And so like, yes, of course, that makes sense. It didn't. No part of me thought that way. I was so green. But being intentional with who your first person is that you sort of start to work with and then mentions you in other circles is important. Now, anyone can be a practice client, right? Like you can work with your mom, you can work with your sister, you can work with your dad, like, of course.

But when you're thinking about how to start moving outside of your friend group chat and your friends, you really, and your close family, you really need to be thoughtful about that because, you know, not everybody in my life, even the people that encouraged me, had the kind of networks that could have helped me the way this turned out. And that taught me a lot about how I now advise clients in retrospect and also just in the online world. This is not an uncommon idea that you, you know, as a coach or a consultant, start to work in this manner. This is, I stumbled into it, but people have known about this for a while. And so that is what we're going to talk about today, being intentional about how you make this ask a front. And this is a topic I could literally spend hours on. And inside my foundations program, I have an entire framework built around this for stylists in all kinds of situations. And there's a lot more to this, but today we are going to talk about what to do and how to build out to getting strangers to hire you. What is the order of operations? What do you say? How do you begin to move to get this to a situation where you feel like, okay, I have a real business?

I'm Nicole Otchy, and this is The Six Figure Personal Stylist Podcast. It is a show for personal stylists building world-class businesses and setting the standard in the industry. Profitable growth, thought leadership, real client transformations. That's what we're talking about here. Because the best stylists don't just edit closets, they shape culture. So let's get into it.

So if you're honest with yourself, you probably already know who you could reach out to. Like if you're listening to this in the car and you have been telling your best friends, or your mom, or people that are close to you, your partner, that you really want to be a stylist, that that's your dream. You have thought about this. I know you have. And maybe you've even drafted a message and didn't send it to someone. You're not not making progress towards making this a real business, because you haven't like thought of ways this could work. You're probably stuck because putting yourself out there for real with actual people you know, feels vulnerable, like I mentioned at the top of the show, feeling about using social media back in the day with Facebook.

Even stylists I have worked with who are really comfortable on social media felt like me suggesting to get clients through direct conversations, like I'm going to share with you today, was more uncomfortable. Because let's be honest, talking into the void on social media, especially if you started fresh accounts, you know, that the people you know aren't following, that is a different story. That is talking into the void and the void can't really reject you. You don't know what the people on the other side of the screen are thinking about you or how they're judging you. But standing across from your mom's college roommate, when she gives you a puzzling look about a top you just picked out for her, is a different story. And that's what makes this hard, not the logistics.

So, let's talk about the logistics anyway, because getting them out of the way actually helps, especially because I tend to work with a lot of perfectionists and overthinkers who want to validate that their instincts are right before they move. And while I don't want to necessarily say that that's what you should do all of your business, I do think that when you are new and stepping into something totally fresh and that you've just like never done before. There's some comfort in that and people need that at that point. When you get to the point where you're, you know, like where my accelerator clients are or my one-to-one clients are, I'm going to coach you out of that. I'm going to help you, you know, think about that differently. But when you're first getting started, it is so important and many of my clients have talked about that, to have somebody there. Because most of us don't have anyone we know that A, is a stylist, or B, has a business like this.

Most of us are not around creative entrepreneurs, especially ones that actually make money and are successful. I'm going to give you exactly how to do this. So there's no room for second guessing, no excuses not to ask. So consider yourself warned, if you keep listening from this point on in this episode, you will know exactly what to do to start getting paying clients. And then you're going to have to do it. Okay. So this is me coaching you. We're going to do this. This is what we're doing. So when I say doing warm outreach, I do not mean posting on like, I was going to say Facebook, but like, does anybody that's not like 80 post on Facebook anymore? No offense if you do. Good, good, good. I'm sure, I'm sure people are excited to see your posts come up and not all the other garbage that's on there.

But, you know, Instagram stories or wherever you're posting. I don't mean posting it in a place where the people that you are friends and family with are going to see it. Not because I'm trying to tell you to hide it, I'm not. It's just because you're probably not going to get much traction unless you are already active and genuinely social there. Yeah, your grandmother's going to like it and your aunts are going to think it's cool, but are those really the people that are going to help you? Maybe, maybe not. It depends on your family. Wasn't really the case in my extended family. So what works is direct personal one-to-one contact, in order to really get this moving. I want you up and out in two months. I want what I'm going to talk to you through today, done, in four to six weeks. Hey, if you don't even have a full-time job, you could do this in a couple weeks, for real.

I want you to identify someone specific. It doesn't even have to be someone you know well. If you have family members and you can think of someone who has a big job, who speaks a lot, who is pretty public facing. I don't mean like famous. I mean like they manage big teams at a big company, or they give a lot of presentations, or they travel a lot for work. Consultants are good for this. Think about maybe you have a sibling who is older than you, or your age and they have a bunch of friends who are in careers like lawyers or doctors or stuff like that, right? If you can't think of anybody in your friend group and that's actually too close for you, ask people that are close to you and say, hey, do you have anyone in your network that you know of that has something big going on, or has an event coming up that maybe I could reach out to, or you could reach out on my behalf and see if I could style them for it.

The reason why I like this is that it is specific. You're saying you are identifying, or asking someone to help you identify someone who has something on the calendar, something going on, or some kind of circumstance in their life, where you're not necessarily saying that I am going to dress you for everything. More like, I want to help you with this thing coming up and that specificity helps people move. So you would say something like, if they're like, yeah, we'll connect you or you know the person well enough that you could reach out, you could say something like, I've been building my styling business and I'm taking on a small number of clients for free this month. I thought of you, because you mentioned that you had a work event coming up or, you know, my brother mentioned you had a work event coming up or whatever. And you might need some help figuring out what to wear. And I'd love to help, if you're open to it. The only thing that I ask for people that I'm working with this month is that if you had a good experience, you'd be willing to give me a testimonial. What do you think? That's it. You don't need to build a website. You literally do not need to invest in branding, start a social media account, nothing. You just need to get that far outside of your friends and family.

Like one person removed. It can be anyone. It could be your neighbor. I don't even care. But if you are feeling stuck, because you don't want to ask your friends, like your friends, or you could ask your friends, hey, I don't want to style you, I know you too well. But do you have a friend or do you know anyone that might be interested that has something coming up? I mean, the likelihood that's the case is pretty high. It's just a genuine message to a real person about a real problem, an event that they actually are going to be facing. It's a very specific scope. You're not offering to build their wardrobe for six months. You're not offering unlimited shopping time, because you forgot to define what we're talking about here and you just said, oh, I'll style you and didn't really make it clear. You're offering a specific, tangible thing with a clear outcome, because we're tying it to something that's going on in their life.

And so what you're going to do is you're going to try to get three people, who are removed enough from you that you cannot read them the way you can a close friend or family member. That is the only thing I care about. I don't care about anything else. You cannot know them well enough to know what their favorite color is or, you know, stuff like that. Think like your mom's best friend or your brother's girlfriend's mom, just to give you an idea, people you know well enough that like it wouldn't be weird necessarily to reach out to them, or to be connected through someone else. But not so well that you're basically psychic about what they like. So when you work with these people who are too close to you, you're not really getting in reps, because you need that friction of someone you don't know preferences enough, to learn to read expressions, to ask follow-up questions, to not have that shorthand that you have with people that you know and have known for a long time and that you probably helped quote style in informal ways for a while.

And the reason this works is because it's not selling. It is noticing. It is noticing that this person has the kind of life, has the kind of thing going on, has the kind of event on their calendar that they want to look good for. You're not saying I noticed your outfits are crappy. You're not saying I saw you at the grocery store and you know, yikes, you know? So this is like a thing that's outside of them. It's not about their taste. It's about this calendar thing that's coming up. It's about the scheduling thing that's coming up, not about them. You don't even have to know their style at all. And people really respond to being noticed. That is what works. It's also a good principle in general for sales. The reason why getting random DMs in, you know, hey girl, sales dams feels bad, is because there's not a lot of noticing that goes on. The only thing they notice is that you have something in your bio that makes them think like, oh, they could be prey, right? This isn't that. It's very effective. You might be very surprised how many people take you off on this offer. Like you'll probably get more than three.

I worked with a stylist last year who had been sitting on launching her business for four months and finally she came to me and was like, I just need to do this. We need to rip the bandaid off. And so I gave her this assignment and she sent six messages in one week. We sat down, we brainstormed, we used this exact approach. And not only did she book those three, people were like, well, yeah, I'll do that, but I actually want to book you for more sessions. So then she booked three paid sessions on top of it. That was her entire client base for the first month and a half in her business. She booked her three testimonial clients and then she booked three paid clients. She did it all in one scoop. That is what's possible when you do this method, because the reach out feels so benign that people are excited.

So, one thing we're being intentional about here is who you're making a list of. Because in an ideal world, you're not just reaching out here and there to people. You're actually going to try to make a list of people that you know that could either connect you to other people or who themselves might be a good fit. So, prioritize people who have large networks, who are personally and professionally connected to the kinds of clients you actually want to work with. Start building real experience. Doesn't even have to be paid, but with the people you think you want to work with. If you're wrong, that's fine. I changed my niche like seven times as a stylist, but you might as well feel like you're doing it for real. It's not just like some whatever experience. So your first few clients aren't just going to be giving you testimonials when you do it this way. They're actually going to be a gateway to potentially your next 10 paying clients, when you do it intentionally.

And if you reach out to someone who knows like 50 people who are exactly like her and she, or he has a great experience that ripples outward and multiplies. So it's the same amount of effort as if you were just doing kind of random people, but a very different return, when you sit down first to think about who those people are, like my mother-in-law, who are like super connectors to some degree, or have very active and busy lives, who are connected to the kind of people that you want to work with. So I have an entire section on this and how to get your first clients, like I said, inside of foundations. And I know a lot of people listening are going to say, like, I just moved to a new city, because I hear this a lot. Like, I don't have a solid network. I don't know a lot of people in my area that have, you know, these bigger networks, depending on their age or, you know, just their life experiences. And I am going to help people cover in that program all of that. But just for the sake of, like, giving everyone listening a place they can start, that's why we're doing this here.

Because a lot of stylists think that they have to go to social media first and the pressure becomes too high and the scope of what they're offering becomes too wide, when they do it that way, they inadvertently overpromise and it doesn't go well. So this is a much better approach. It's a safer approach. It's a gradual approach, because we're not doing whole packages here, but we are doing something intentional and meaningful. And when a person has a good experience wearing something for something that is public, that really sticks, like a wedding or a meeting or whatever. That tends to really stick in their mind that you help them with that experience, because it wasn't just like another Tuesday. That's the other benefit of going for people besides that it doesn't sound like you're saying like, hey, I noticed you've kind of bad style every day. You're saying, hey, you have this fun, exciting thing on the calendar that anybody would want to look good for. Can I help you with that? It's a different tone, and it makes a big difference. When I see stylists that are new, just kind of going into it. I mean, I really admire putting yourself out there, but they often over promise and under deliver. And then they never get the kind of testimonials they want. The scope is too wide. The person that's getting the experience is like, I don't really know what's going on. It gets weird. So this is a much better approach.

Okay, so you have your three testimonial clients. The next question is how to convert that goodwill into actual paying clients. And because the first offer was open and informal, the ask to get into their network often either doesn't happen at all, I notice, or it's more of a suggestion than a real ask. So when a stylist tells me, oh, I tried that and it didn't work, it usually is because the ask is too broad or the ask comes too late in the process. So this stuff really matters. This level of detail and coaching that I'm giving you right now may sound like I never even thought of that, but this is why my clients get where they get. Because when you are new, you just don't know what you don't know, right? And so your brain is trying to remember how to do this, how to notice someone else's reactions, trying to figure out what brands to use, trying to figure out how to address other people's bodies that aren't the same as yours. All of this is in your mind. So you need this level of specificity to actually get to where you want to go and make this legit.

When you are asking people for referrals or to recommend you, nine times out of 10, it sounds something like, if you know anyone who wants a stylist or needs a stylist, send them my way. And what people don't realize is that it puts all the work on the person you're talking to. That person then has to think of someone, remember to mention you, make sure that they are saying what you do in a way that they think actually is how you would want to be represented, explain the process, make the introduction. And here's the thing, a lot of people are actually afraid to recommend a stylist to someone out of the blue, because it sounds like they're saying that that person has bad style or taste. So lots of people want to follow through, but they don't. And it's not because they don't want to help you. It's because they don't have the language or the context to do it easily. And that is the critical part that most stylists don't realize.

Now, the other one I mentioned is they ask too late. So too late means waiting until the session has completely wrapped and the person that you worked with for those testimonial sessions has already mentally moved on. The best time to ask for a testimonial, or a referral is when you are still in the work. So here's a good example and why I really like stylists that are starting out to really get a good amount of experience in person. Because when you are standing in front of someone's closet and you are putting together outfits and they are seeing themselves differently and seeing clothes differently, or you're shopping or whatever. There are those moments where someone starts to shift and you see their energy lift, or when they text you a week later and say that they wore the outfit you put together and they got all these compliments and they felt like a million bucks. That's the moment, right there, when that person is in that energy, where you make the ask. Most ask, they're like, great, I'm so happy. That's great. And then that's it. Don't leave it there.

And here's what you're going to say. I want you to take notes. Something like, I'm so glad this worked out for you. I'm so glad you reached out too, because I'm actually taking on two more clients this month for my new packages. So if you know someone who has a busy life, is super visible, has an event like that, whatever you want to say, some kind of a detail saying something that's specific that is connected to what you did with them. So someone else who's going to a conference next month, someone else who's got a wedding, whatever it is. I'd love an introduction. I can send you something to forward about what I'm offering if that makes it easier. And usually they'll be like, oh my gosh, yes, right? You've told them how many spots you have. You've told them that it's going to be paid for your new packages. You've described exactly the kind of person and what they're experiencing, what they're about to do, what this event is, what kind of person they are, what they're about to do, so that it's really specific about where they're going, what they're doing. So they can then picture someone in their network. And you've made the action you need them to take as easy as possible. You're going to send the information and they're going to forward it. That's it. So easy. They know who to forward it to, because you made it super clear.

Specificity is what makes it feel like a conversation instead of a sales pitch. And it's also what gets people to remember that this is something that they can actually do on your behalf. And because they're riding on that high, they want to do it. So the timing is really critical for the ask. I really prefer it in person. I think that it makes a big difference. But again, if that's not how it happens, you always have that text message or that follow-up conversation to think about too. And it usually is someone's like, yeah, send it over. I would love to help. They either follow through or they don't, but at least it's not awkward, because you're not asking like out of the blue six months later, a few weeks later when they're not riding that high anymore.

So you have your testimonials, you have those three to five say, now we're charging. You don't have to go right to packages, you're going to do hourly. You're going to create a closet edit, shopping trip, and styling session. You're going to pick your hourly rate, I have an entire module about that, we're not going to get into it here and then you're going to start booking people for those sessions. The goal at this stage, when you are charging hourly, which is why I often say, y'all stay there too long, just like I did, is reps. You want five, top six people, paying you to run sessions. And the reason why you want to stay hourly for a little while is because you want to get your sessions tight. You want to get things really, really dialed in. You want to make sure that you're not taking six hours to edit a closet. You need to be able to get people in and out of a shopping trip without a complete spiral or a meltdown on their part or yours in under three hours. You have to get a feel for how long things actually take versus how long you think they're going to take, before you start charging larger sums of money.

And also in order to make the packages make sense. Because if you're doing six hours to edit a closet, that's very hard to sell. So all of your sessions should be about three hours by the time you're ready to do packages. Once you have five or six playing hourly clients and your sessions are consistently running around that three hour mark, then you are ready to build packages. Not before that. Some of you will try to do 10 people. That's fine. My thing is just, what is your cutoff point and why? Is it because you say, okay, I worked really well for the closet edit and the styling session, but I feel like I need more experience in the shopping. Fine, take one or two more people. But the real thing here is that we need to have the sessions tight and clear and we need to feel like we are confident in them, not perfect.

We talked about this in an earlier episode, but I did want to repeat it here, because when you get to a larger package, yes, it is just a combination of those individual services, but there's a lot more admin and connections that you need to make for clients throughout the process. So I want you to have the muscle memory of the basic ways that you're going to keep those sessions in check and not be going on forever so that you can actually focus on the more transformational work in those packages. This progression is very simple, it's very clean and it's very effective. Three to four free clients to get your testimonials, hourly packages around six to seven, somewhere in there to build your reps and then you go to packages, when your sessions are consistent. And then you want to think about how you can have all of those sessions connect together in a really smooth, high-touch experience for the client. That is the path to being a well-paid professional stylist. This is a topic that I could literally spend hours on. I have already gone over my intended time just for this conversation. So we're going to get into all of this in incredible detail inside foundations.

I have built out a 30 day week by week roadmap for your first paying clients that go way outside of the scope of what we talked about, with minimum targets to reach for each week, so you stay consistent even when you feel like nothing's working yet, because that feeling comes for everyone usually around day 12 of having a plan that you're executing and nothing is happening. In order to really help you move forward and get the kind of momentum early on that really sets a great foundation for a successful business as a stylist.

So I've got the roadmap, the outreach, email templates, everything you need to get real clients in the program. It's going to be amazing. The waitlist opens April 20th. The link is in the show notes. The founding cohort is going to be the only round with live twice monthly support calls plus a community to ask questions in that you can get immediately answered, while you're actively building your business. Future rounds will be way more self-led, so if you want real-time, high-touch feedback while you're doing this work to get your styling business off the ground, this is a round you want to jump in for. I will see you next week.

Thank you so much for hanging out with me. It turns out that social proof is actually pretty important. So if you could help me out, I'd so appreciate it. If you just had a quick free moment and could leave me a rating or review on the podcast app, that would be killer. And even better, if you wanted to share this episode on Instagram and tag me, that would totally make my day. And it would bring so much more awareness to the podcast and would help other stylists, just like you, who are looking to build a lucrative styling business. Because the better each of us does, the better all of us do. Thanks for hanging out with me and I’ll chat with you next time.